Read 1 John 4:18-19. All of us loved to be loved. As a matter of fact, much of what we do in life is striving to get people to love us or at least like us. Relationships. Work. Sports. School. Life can be very performance-driven. I grew up with this understanding as well. Doing things for people hoping they would somehow accept me and love me.
The problem with this approach is that it is doing life with a 'poverty mindset'. In other words, your interactions with people are based on what you need not what you have to give. A kingdom principle that changes everything is that you have already been loved and accepted. There is nothing else for you to do....in order to be. When you accepted Christ, you came into a relationship that satisfies all your needs and can fulfill your inner longings.
There is nothing else for you to do....in order to be.
The old way is to do things for people based on what you need or even worse what you are afraid of. "If I don't do this, they won't accept me." "If I do this, they will love me." But, when we understand that God already loves us and already accepts us we can show up in life filled up. When we 'show up filled up' (as my coach says), we can serve others with selflessness and not desperation. We love BECAUSE He first loved us. If we had relationships that were based on giving rather than taking and serving rather than seeking life would be much different.
Today, make a decision to live FROM love rather than for it. 'For God so loved the world, He gave....' Choose love.